#FemmeNews

Roll up! Roll up! A couple of must-knows to keep you current at the water-cooler. Because news matters sista…

July2-1

You know the usual shick; the (almost always) white, blond woman, hairless from brows to toes, prances about beside an infinity pool. There’s an unexplained harp in the distance and she’s acting like she’s in an unusual relationship with that pink razor. THEN SHE STARTS TO ‘SHAVE’ A LEG THAT HAS NOT ONE HAIR ON IT!! Nonsense of the highest order, lads.

Billie’s the brand we’ve been waiting for. Their new ads are diverse, recognise that shaving will never make us feel like we’re in paradise, and *gasp* show actual body hair! What a big ol’ blast of fresh air.

Cool side note: they don’t test on animals and don’t part-take in the ‘pink tax’ i.e the markup on products geared towards women.

July02-2

Immigration activists march to protest the Trump Administration's immigration policy in Washington

So we know that the world is basically on fire, but let’s take a moment for the resistance in the US. At over 700 locations this weekend, hundreds of thousands of people marched in protest of the, y’know, babies-in-cages situation.

#FamiliesBelongTogether believe, like most reasonable individuals, that children are not political pawns, that seeking asylum is not a crime and that the ICE should be abolished. Keep up with them online – download posters, donate or grab some merch. Get on that resistance train sis.

July2-3

‘How dare these females infringe on sacred bro territory? Silly girls, back to the kitchen with you *insert sandwich joke here*, hahaha *swigs from can*.’

Nothing like the football to bring emotions to the fore. Former Chelsea and Tottingham defender Jason Cundy gave us a gorgeous soundbite that sums up the bullshit that female sports reporters still put up with. And trust me, it takes a LOT for Piers Morgan to come off as a feminist:

In England, Eni Aluko and Alex Scott, holders of 107 and 140 England caps respectively, are putting the other talking heads to shame with their in-depth analysis because, you know, this is their wheelhouse.

On-location, a third journalist has been sexually assaulted on-camera this week while literally trying to do her job. This involves kissing and groping by male football fans. The usual excuses arise almost instantly – whether is be the fans’ excitement, levels of intoxication or the atmosphere on game day – and suggest that the women in question would do better to just brush it off.

So what I’ve learned from the World Cup so far is that, men can’t control their actions around women, engage with informed female colleagues or, oddly enough, tolerate their voices. Might I suggest a sex doll for ye lads?

July2-4

So it’s been a few days since Ocasio-Cortez won her place as congressional Democratic nominee but I’m still not over it.

Being hailed as a harbinger of a new progressive movement, her platform includes:

Medicare for all / housing as a human right / federal jobs guarantee / gun control / abolish ICE / criminal justice reform / solidarity with Puerto Rico / mobalising against climate change … the list of badass goes on.

Did I mention, she’s only twnety-eight and literally wore out her shoes canvassing? Cry millennial snowflake at us one more time!

shoes

After being charged with being too leftist for middle America, she maintained her connection with grass-roots voter systems and the desire for real change among the people. And to that ever-dirty word ‘Socialist’ she said:

“It’s part of what I am,” she said. “It’s not all of what I am. And I think that that’s a very important distinction. I’m an educator. I’m an organizer. And I believe that what we’re really seeing is just a movement for healthcare, housing and education in the United States.” – Tell ’em sis!!

giphy

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